also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
