Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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