just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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