I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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