put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
