Duck Duck Cougar?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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