I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
