We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
