I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
