hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
