You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
