I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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