I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
