So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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