I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize