i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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