so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I am mentally ready for anal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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