Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
