Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
