I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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