doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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