I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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