we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
