I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
