So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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