She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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