"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
