Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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