Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
