i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
