so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
