I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
