btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
