yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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