i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
