Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me