btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?