i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
