drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
