Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize