Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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