I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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