just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
