Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
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Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize