making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
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I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
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just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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