please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
