is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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