i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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