im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
