did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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