If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
