i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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