We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
