I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
