He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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