Sry I called you an 8
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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